A Very Jewish Christmas
by BrokenFirePen
Summary: A holiday one shot, for the Puckleberry children. Happy holidays!


**Happy (****Very l****ate) Hanukkah and Merry Christmas. Happy holidays, I suppose... ON WITH THE ONE SHOT!**

**P.S. By the way, this has to time span for the show or anything. I just wanted to add in a one shot... So... Yeah. There you go.**

"No, come on, Rachel!" Puck called as she hurriedly stomped away from him. "Rach!" He watched as she angrily climbed into her car and drive away, kicking the brick wall to the school and banging his fists against it when she was out of sight. "Shit!" he screamed, punching the wall again before storming toward his truck.

He got in and slammed the door, allowing his head fall on the wheel, the horn letting out a loud honk. Puck must have sat like that for an hour or so, just letting the horn drawl on and on before someone started knocking on the window. He jumped and turned his head, seeing Mike Chang looming in the glass.

"What?" Puck said sharply, giving him a death glare.

Mike grinned at him, flashing his surprisingly white teeth. "Open the freaking door, shithead," he said rudely, wrapping his knuckles on the window until Puck swung the door open, making Mike stumble backwards. "What's the matter with you? You've been sitting like that for, like, twenty minutes."

Puck shrugged. "Dunno, man. Some shit happened with Berry when we left..."

"Why do you care what shit happened with Berry?" Puck didn't answer. He stayed deadly silent in fact. Mike stared at him, trying to figure out why Puck was so upset about Berry flipping a shit, since she does something like that all the time, but for some reason, this was more important. Way more important. "Sure, she's hot an all, so getting into shit with her lessens your chance of getting into her pants... Skirt... but, Rachel has shit happen all the time," Mike said, shrugging as if it were not big deal.

But, it was a big deal. It was a big freaking deal. Except he didn't want to say so, because that would mean his badassness would plummet into nothing, like water down the drain, like crap down th- Okay, so he wasn't going _that _far, but, it would be like water down the drain. And, seriously, he would rather have the water in a glass. His glass. One he could drink from. And have all the time. And make it be his. Only his. And talk with it; have actual conversations, not just grunting or moaning or whatever it is girls do when you're giving them a good time.

So, like, seriously? How could Mike Chang think it's not a big deal. He didn't have a water glass either. Well, he kind of did. Did Tina count as a water glass, or was she, like, a water bottle, because you could control whether or not water is going to be splashing all of the place. Plus, you could run with it.

"Oh, Jesus, now I'm comparing girls to water glasses and water bottles," he mumbled to himself.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he said absentmindedly, texting something into his phone. Puck shook his head, his lips pursed. "Well, get over it, dude. Rutherford's Christmas... Excuse me... _holiday _party is tonight. Perfect time to get hammered and meet some chick to relieve you of your tension."

With an eye roll, Puck sat back in his seat. "Get in the car, dude."

* * *

**Puckerman freaking out. About Berry. Something between? ~Chang**

Tina looked at her cell phone curiously, her eyebrows slightly pushed together, making her forehead wrinkle in a way she knew Mike thought cute, even though he wasn't around. It made her tingle whenever she thought about him, so she could pretend he was there to say, 'You're so adorable,' as she frowned, confused.

She read it again... "Something between? What does he mean by that?" she mused to herself, pressing 'options' and 'forward', sending the message along to Artie.

* * *

Rachel sat in her bed room, ferociously typing on her computer. She was on her MySpace page, uploading a video, but her mind was occupied with other things. She kept thinking about Noah, and what had happened in the parking lot earlier, not able to shake the upset feeling that had been forming in her gut as she'd walked away.

As soon as the video was uploaded, she logged off and entered her email, seeing a forwarded message from Kurt. The subject was: _FWD: FWD: Puckleberry _and Rachel cautiously clicked on the message, reading it.

**Puckerman freaking out. About Berry. Something between? **

She didn't even want to know. Puck had crossed the line today and she didn't want anything to do with him anymore, even though, at the same time, she did. He'd completely pushed her buttons and she wasn't in the mood to even think about him, because that day in glee practice, as oppose to the other ones, was absolute hell.

_All of the glee kids were sitting patiently in the choir room, waiting for Mr. Schuster to arrive with the copies of the new sheet music. Rachel was at one end of the room, with Artie, Britney and Tina sitting around her. _

_"Alright, guys, here it is… New song for the week is quite an oldie, back from the seventies. Love Will Keep Us Together by Captain and Tennille. Finn, Rachel, wanna give it a try?" _

_She sat up happily, straightening her skirt but Finn sunk down father in his seat. "Can someone else take this, Mr. Schue? I'm not in the mood." _

_Rachel gasped. "Finn! That is absolutely no way to think. We're talking about a song. To sing. With me. If anything, you shouldn't be in the mood, you should be jumping to your feet because you get to sing with me, the _only _girl in the room who can carry out a note for longer than a minute and who can properly__ sing and dance at th__e same time. And besides, none of these girls can sing music from the seventies. It has a very different style and only someone like me could adapt to-" _

_"Oh, God, Rachel, shut up!" She paused, her mouth in an 'O' as she was about to continue, but she fell silent, turned her head to the person who spoke. "Like, seriously, dude," Puck said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're driving me insane..." _

_She gasped. "That's rude!" she said loudly, glaring at the Mohawked football player across the room. "How could you say something like that, Noah?" _

_Puck snorted. "How could I not say something like that? Like, I swear, if someone glued your lips together then duct taped your mouth it wouldn't keep you from talking. You'd find a way around it." _

_Her jaw dropped more. Everyone was looking at him, some with approving looks, mainly Kurt and Mercedes, and others with looks of shock. "Puck, that's incredibly unnecessary," Mr. Schuster said, putting the sheet music on the piano for Brad to look over. _

_"Well, she was being just a stupid," Puck said, lightly pointing his finger at her. _

_"… She was being slightly rude, but you didn't need to comment, especially with that," the teacher retorted, leaning back on the stool behind him. Puck rolled his eyes. "This is childish, guys, come on." _

_Rachel sat back in her chair. "I'm not apologizing. I didn't do anything wrong. I only said that I was saying I'm the best in the group and that Finn should be more excited to perform with me, even if he does sing with me every day. Honestly, I am the best singer in the group and clearly all the other girls here cannot-" _

_"Seriously, Berry, you need to cut it the frick out. You're insulting everyone here." _

_"Like you don't do that all the time when you sleep with girls and drop them faster than someone can say 'Hello'," she shot back, staring straight ahead. _

_He laughed nonchalantly. "At least I run my mouth all the time, making it unbearable to be around me and have everyone hate me." _

_"I'm not a moronic Neanderthal who runs solely on idiotic comments and disgusting self images." _

_"No, instead I'm not a bitch who trolls the hallways trying to impress everyone but ends up just disgusting everyone about how I'm the best when in reality, everyone would rather lock me in a closet with Fro Boy and his Jew Crew." _

_Rachel was silent, not even moving from her seat until Mr. Schuster started to speak. "Puck, that's inappropriate and you should-" _

_She shot from her seat, grabbing her jacket and backpack before stomping out of the room and slamming the door. The room was dead silent. Everyone was staring at Puck. "Dude, that was totally uncalled for." He turned around and looked at Matt, who was usually silent. "Like, not cool at all." _

_"Yeah, Puck, that was completely unreasonable, you had no right to do that," Mr. Schuster added on, cocking his head slightly. _

_He was silent for a moment. "Well, you know it's true, Mr. Schue. She's an obnoxious blabber mouth who doesn't know when to shut up." _

_"You still had to right to say it, Puck. You need to end it now." _

_The football player stood up and sighed. "Alright, whatever. I'll go get her." Walking out of the choir room, Puck searched the halls, finding Rachel squatting on the floor, leaning against the wall with her head between her knees. She was making no noise, she was just sitting here, her backpack resting next to her. "Rachel?" _

_She snapped her head up. "Leave me alone," she said quietly, her face red. "I don't want to talk to you." _

_Slowly, she stood up and picked her bag up, walked toward the front doors of the school. "Wait, Rachel, just let me say I'm sorry." _

_"Sorry for what? For calling me unbearable, or hated, or someone who trolls, or disgusting, or a bitch? Which one is it, Noah? I'd prefer a sorry for disgusting and unbearable, but if you want to apologize for calling me a bitch, that will be accepted as well. So, which is it?" _

_He kicked his foot slightly. "Uh… All of them?" She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, though, I am sorry." _

_Rachel leaned on one foot. "Like I'm supposed to believe that," she hissed, her eyes narrowing. "You wouldn't mean an apology even if you had a gun pointed to your head." She adjusted her bag on her shoulder. "So, just save it, Noah, because, truthfully, _I _can't stand _you. _Good-bye." _

_She started to walk away. "It's not like it wasn't true!" She froze. "You are unbearable, and hated my most people in this school. And, yeah, you're a bitch, so everything I told you was true, I just don't know why you're reacting so harshly. It's not like it's a surprise to hear it. This is you we're talking about." _

_"It doesn't matter if it's new to me or not, you could still have kept your mouth shut about it." _

_"Something you should learn. You are always talking crap about people and you don't even care. Just because you have talent or whatever doesn't mean you can shoot other people down because you think you're better. Maybe if you shut up once and a while, people would like you more." _

_She glared at him. "Well… Excuse me if I'm a little out going," she said darkly, walked toward him until she was nearly pressed against his body. "Excuse me if I like to talk about my talent because it's one of the only things that keeps me from breaking down in the middle of the hallway.__" Her voice cracked as tears began to fill her eyes and roll down her cheeks.__"__Excuse me if I, as you say, 'shoot other people down' because it is, in fact, only way I can hide that fact that I'm absolutely miserable from people like _you _throwing Slushees __in my face and calling me Man-Hands and now, today, a __bitch." He suddenly felt his stomach drop. "So, please, just, pardon me and my insulting disgustingness, because I don't want to have to talk to you more." _

_Then she spun on her heel and marched away, storming out of the school. "Well, shit," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh, I have to keep going after again, don't I?" he asked to no one. "Yes, yes, I do." He bounded down the hall and out the doors. "Rachel!" She didn't answer. "Rachel Berry, stop walking!" He jogged up to her. "Listen, I'm sorry. Like, I don't know how else to say it, really… Sorry is kind of the only word I can think of, so, I'm sorry. Really… Really sorry." _

_Rachel shook her head. "No, you're not, Noah. If you were sorry, you would have never done it in the first place. I know people like you. I've been dealing with them since I was in sixth grade." He was about to say something, but she held her hand up, silencing him. "Don't argue with it, Noah. Please. You can't deny that it isn't true. Like, why would you do that to someone unless you wanted to? Unless you knew that it would make them feel worse and would make you feel better." _

_"No, Rachel, let me-"_

_"Just, let me walk away and we won't talk about it anymore. You obviously don't like me and at the moment, I don't really like you, so, just drop it and let me walk away from you with at least a little dignity." She began to cry again. "You've already done enough." _

_Then she turned and started to walk away from him for the third time that day. "No, come on, Rachel!" Puck called as she hurriedly stomped away from him. "Rach!" He watched as she angrily climbed into her car and drive away, kicking the brick wall to the school and banging his fists against it when she was out of sight. "Shit!" he screamed, punching the wall again before storming toward his truck._

So, as Rachel tried as hard as she could to push the memory of that afternoon out of her mind, Rachel rose from her desk and wandered into her bathroom to get ready for Matt Rutherford's holiday party.

* * *

It was loud on 3745 Raymond Boulevard that night; music poured from every window and door, the walls and floors were vibrating and currently, Rachel stood in a corner of the room, watching as two football players held another one upside down on a keg as she chugged from the spout. She had a bottle of water in her hand. Multiple times, a drunk Dave Karoffski had ambled up to her and told her that, if she so chose, she could ride him like a biker-chick on a motorcycle. She declined every time.

So, as Rachel stood there in her pleated skirt and argyle sweater, sipping at her water, she scoped the crowed. Sam and Quinn were standing in the corner, giggling and kissing each other. She felt her heart start thumping, wishing she could be like that with a boy. So, she started searching for someone, anyone, she could talk to. Tragically, that someone, was Puck.

He was stumbling around, holding onto an even more drunk Mike Chang. "Rah-Rah-Rah-Rah-Rachel!" the lanky football player said, tromping over to her. He stabbed his finger into her chest. "You have something on your s-s-sweater." She looked down and he flicked his finger up, hitting her on the nose. "Tee-hee!"

She nodded her head. "Thank you, Michael, for your input, I'll keep it in mind."

"Go-o-o-o-o-ood!"

Puck pulled him back by the shirt collar. "DUDE!" he screamed over the music. "I THINK TEENSTER IS LOOKING FOR YOU!"

"WHO!"

Puck bellowed. "TINA, DUDE!" Mike laughed with him. "GO! FIND! HER!"

Mike stumbled away, taking a beer cup from someone and chugging it before disappearing. Puck suddenly stood up straight, walking like a normal person over to Rachel. "What's up, Berry?"

Her eyebrows shut up in shock, confused as to why he was suddenly un-drunk. "I… You were just…"

"Faking. Don't really drink anymore, you know?" She shook her head. "Yeah. Since the baby and whatever, I'm not really one for the alcohol." Rachel took a sip of her water. "So, how are you?" She looked up at him through her eyelashes, but it wasn't something flirtatious or anything, it was more a glare. "Okay, so, that's the wrong thing to ask… Maybe something more along the lines of… Say… Rachel, I was a major douche to you and I really never should have said what I did, and I'm just, well, I was wrong."

"You weren't wrong." He nodded as if to say 'yes.' "You weren't. I was wrong. You were right, I just don't even know what I was thinking. Of course people don't like me… I just, I just don't know what to do anymore. No one likes me, even in glee."

He rested his hand on the wall and leaned against it. "That's not true, Berry."

She laughed once, half-heartedly. "Oh, yes it is. No one talked to me, only to ask the time or something like that, and the only non-glee human contact I've had with someone that was recent was when Jacob Ben Israel tried to feel me up last week." He groaned. "It's true, Noah! You were right… I'm not likeable. It's one of those things. I guess I'm just an unfortunate person. You even throw Slushees at me."

"Used to throw Slushees. Notice how I haven't done something like that, since, like, before I joined glee." She looked down at the floor. "I just want to know if you can forgive me for what I said earlier, because I was totally out of line."

Rachel let out a shaky sigh, kicking her foot a few times. "Well, Noah, I don't really think I can forgive you or anything. I can thank you for telling me the truth and for helping me see what was really in front of my eyes, but I can't forgive you for making it such a crude message. And in front of the entire glee club. It just went to show how unfortunate I am."

"You're not completely unfortunate…" She sniffed. "I like having you around."

"No, you don't. You like my legs, everyone does."

Puck moved his hand from the wall and to her hair, brushing it away from her face. "Well, since you're legs are so nice, do you think that you could do a little something with them… After all, you are standing under the mistletoe." He pointed and she looked up, seeing that she was in fact standing under the little green plant hanging from the ceiling. "Come on, Rachel. In the spirit of Christmas."

She smirked. "I'm Jewish."

He took a step closer to her until their bodies were pressing against each other. He leaned down slightly. "Yeah, so am I."

Then, he ducked his head down and pressed his lips against hers. They stayed that way for a few minutes, to both Puck's surprise and her own. After a while, Puck pulled away from her and leaned toward her ear.

"Merry Christmas, Berry."

"Merry Christmas, Noah."

And then, he kissed her again.


End file.
